


The Memories We Share

by Isaac_Not_Newton



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Panic Attacks, Post-Break Up, Post-New Dangan Ronpa V3, Sad, Spoilers for chapter 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-20 20:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21287876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isaac_Not_Newton/pseuds/Isaac_Not_Newton
Summary: Kokichi and Shuichi break up. Kokichi isn't all that fine like Shuichi had hoped he would be.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 126





	1. Despair

**Author's Note:**

> If you see any mistakes, please alert me.  
Feedback is appreciated.  
Suggestions are also appreciated.  
Like usual, I did not beta this but more importantly, I hope you can enjoy this story.

“No, Saihara-chan!” Kokichi screamed as he woke up, hand outstretched for the Ultimate Detective but never reaching him. He panted out loud. Gaze furtively looking around as if the detective would’ve been somewhere in his room. The empty spot beside him was proof enough that Shuichi would never come back to him. 

His vision cleared up slightly and he looked at his alarm clock. It read 2:20 am, his pants quickened to the point where he felt like he was gasping for breath. The room was dark, much like how he had felt when Shuichi had left him. Shuichi’s words still echoed around his head, that disappointed tone kept resonating around, distracting Kokichi as he clutched his head in his hands tightly. He couldn’t breathe at the point but he didn’t care, his eyes screwed shut as he gasped for breath. Eventually, he passed out, he had fallen face forward and onto the floor. 

“This hurts,” was the first thing Kokichi said once he woke up. The alarm blared, screaming at him to wake up. He got up, groaning at his sore nose, he must have fallen into it. He was tangled in his sheets and the sensation of being trapped made him struggle weakly against his bedsheets. It suffocated him for reasons he couldn’t escape, almost as if his bed wanted him to stay in the land of dreams where Shuichi could leave him over and over again. 

“Get ready,” he told himself as he finally managed to untangle himself from his sheets. He gave them a victorious kick, hoping that his own actions could make himself smile a bit. It didn’t but he had to say he appreciated his own efforts. As pitiful as they were, he figured that at least he seemed to want for himself to get better. The thought should’ve empowered him but it barely did, all he could feel was the hollowness inside of himself.

He got ready, put on his uniform and all of that. He didn’t bother eating breakfast, he didn’t think he could stomach it even if he did. He locked the door behind him and quickly slapped on his usual mask. He was supposed to be a promoter for Danganronpa after all so he wasn’t allowed to look sad. Only pleasant, he could only act like he did in-game. He wasn’t allowed to step out of bounds, everything was constricting but he figured it would be fine. Everything would be better than going back to the office and working with the others to reboot the system. Junkies still had so many ideas and Kokichi really did admire her but he couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t want to program alongside his one and only love. He didn’t want to see Shuichi laughing at everyone's jokes like they were normal.

Nothing was normal anymore. Shuichi has left him alone, despite all the promises they shared. He was gone and Kokichi was now alone. He would always be alone, he could hear in-game Shuichi say. It didn’t matter what that version of Shuichi said but what mattered was what had happened just a few weeks ago. Kokichi could remember it as clear as day, even as he put on his smile and started walking off towards his assigned school. People would point at him, ask for pictures and signatures. Some would harass him and the only thing he could do was either tell a lie, tell the truth or laugh. Nothing out of his character or else he would be sent back. Back to where his nightmares resided.

“Hey, Ouma-kun… Welcome back,” he heard Shuichi say as he unlocked the door. A smile had spread onto Kokichi’s face immediately. Just the sound of his beloved boyfriend’s name was enough to make him beam, to the point where he didn’t even notice that Shuichi had called him by his last name. 

“Thank you Shumai, how was your day?” Kokichi has grinned, quickly dropping his bag onto the floor and hurrying to his boyfriend’s side. The taller male was sitting on the couch, head turned away from Kokichi. Only then as Shuichi slowly turned around did Kokichi notice that something was wrong.

Shuichi had eyebags, very visible ones. His face no longer held that glint of excitement every time Kokichi came home. Those eyes that looked sunken in seemed to stare straight past the purple-haired boy and even worse, his face remained stoic. Today was April first so there had to be something important Shuichi was going to tell him. Perhaps Junko had changed his branch? That shouldn’t be too bad, Kokichi and Shuichi would still get to see each other even if that happened. He put on a comforting smile, a genuine one that he knew always brought a smile onto Shuichi’s face but it didn’t work. The detective merely stared at him before sighing and turning around to face the other side again. 

“My day was fine. Rather, we have something more important to talk about,” Shuichi responded, either Kokichi was imagining it or Shuichi was gritting his teeth while he spoke. That wasn’t like him, Kokichi wondered just how bad the news had to be to make his usually so adorable boyfriend get this angry.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Shuichi suddenly said. Kokichi froze then, smile melting off of his face. He stayed there, half-leaning over Shuichi, shell-shocked at the revelation. Shuichi couldn’t do this anymore? Couldn’t do what? Working under Enoshima Junko? Couldn’t stay with Kokichi in a relationship anymore? There were so many possibilities and Kokichi hoped it wasn’t what he feared the most.

“What’s wrong Shumai? Maybe I can help?” Kokichi asked, gently trying to turn Shuichi back towards him. His hand was slapped away, much to the smaller one’s surprise. He felt himself gape at his stinging hand and looked at Shuichi. A flash of fury in his eyes could be seen before it reverted back to its blank stare. This wasn’t like Shuichi and Kokichi couldn’t believe it Shuichi would ever try to physically harm him.

“No, you can’t. You’re the reason why everything is going wrong in my life. I was happy when I first met you but then you changed, you started getting all depressed. I loved you so I tried my best, I tried so hard to make you understand that I couldn’t take that much but you never listened. You never do,” Shuichi burst out, surprising Kokichi. 

“B-But you never made it clear! I didn’t know! Please Shuichi, had I known I wouldn’t have done that. I’ll do my best, so please don’t leave me,” Kokichi almost cried. He could already feel his throat constricting. He hated it, he hated the way Shuichi was looking at him with disdain in his eyes. He loved the detective yet he didn’t anymore? He believed it wasn’t a mistake that Shuichi had said that he loved him in the past tense.

“IT’S ALWAYS MY FAULT ISN’T IT?” Shuichi had screamed, startling Kokichi. Kokichi wasn’t used to such loud noises and tottered off of the couch in surprise. Shuichi never yelled at him, the detective was always so cautious and so gentle to Kokichi, the purple-haired boy wondered just when did he start to take that kindness as something that was a given. 

He realized then, as Shuichi stared down at him with a disgusted look that Kokichi himself was the reason for Shuichi’s concerns. Those dark eye bags must have been because of his recurring nightmares. He always made sure to thank Shuichi and tried his best to not wake up the other but he couldn’t help it. Everything else was just as Shuichi had shown. He was the reason for the other’s distress.

“No! No! Shuichi, it’s not your fault. Please, I’m sorry. I swear I’ll change just don’t leave me. Not again,” Kokichi had felt it then, the tear that had slowly rolled down his cheek. It was disconcerting how much it tickled, the ways that Kokichi’s attention focused on that single tear to ground himself against the painful truth.

“There you go again. You’re so incredibly pitiful Kokichi… don’t think I didn’t notice that your attention isn’t on me anymore,” Shuichi spat out. Those usually kind eyes were full of hatred for him. It hurt incredibly much, Kokichi despised the way they reminded him of his in-game death. The way he had seen Kaito, the fake concern and everything else that had happened.

He watched as Shuichi went to the door, grabbed a few bags inside the kitchen that Kokichi hadn’t seen when he’d come in and turned around one last time. Kokichi noticed that Shuichi’s expression had reverted to the soft one he usually used with Kokichi. A few tears rolled down his cheeks as the usually strong detective sniffled at him.

“I’m so sorry Ouma-kun… but I can’t do this anymore. I just, I just hope that you’ll be okay alone from now on,” Shuichi had given him one last smile, full of sadness before he’d gone through the door and locked it behind him. Kokichi had remained there, on the floor, staring at the closed door for a long while before he’d passed out. 

That had been that and now here he was, signing on a girl’s hoodie of himself with a glitter pen. He wasn’t even sure how the girl was thinking, the glitter pen’s ink would wash off quickly. He smiled at them and laughed his signature laugh but spluttered at the girl’s friend's question.

“Can you say Saihara-chan? May I record it?” The girl asked she was much shyer than the other one who was currently jumping around in her hoodie. It was slightly embarrassing, watching someone wear your own face on their hoodie.

“I- Of course! Nishishi, tell me when you’re ready,” Kokichi smiled. This was his job, if he didn’t want to see Shuichi again then he would have to live with this. He had to get used to this, after all, he had to stay strong or else Junko would come for him again. He didn’t want the blond twin-tail girl to come around and wave around him the fact that he was useless ever again.

“I’m ready, please start in 3… 2… 1… go!” The girl squealed, pressing on her phone. Kokichi inhaled, hoping that his voice wouldn’t break.

“Saihara-chan, I stole your heart, so now I’m satisfied! I don’t need to steal your life anymore!” He even did the right pose to humour the girl. The girl stopped recording, thanked him and asked him for a hug. He accepted it despite not wanting to, he had a job to do, definitely not because he was touch-starved. 

“Thank you so much, we’ll be on our way now Ouma-san!” The girls laughed, he heard his own voice come out of the girl’s phone again and cringed. He hated that line but it was one of those he was the most famous for and Junko had warned him to exploit it. She wanted Danganronpa to be a success again and Kokichi had to help with that. He would have to suffer the consequences of Shuichi, Maki, Kiibo, Tsumugi and Yumeno’s actions. 

“Take care!” Kokichi laughed. It fit him so well, he couldn't help but think. In reality, he couldn’t care less about both of them but he could lie about it. They wouldn’t even know if he was or wasn’t and that pleased him. 

He made it to school, it was supposed to be a peaceful morning but he could already hear the laughter directed at him. After the last ending, many people had decided that Danganronpa should just end and that those advertising it should be held responsible for whatever Enoshima Junko decided to do. He suffered from that, more physically than mentally since he was practically numb inwardly.

“Look at him, doesn’t he look just pitiful? He should’ve actually just died when Kaito killed him. Kaito was such a good character too. I can’t believe he died because of him,” he heard someone say. It was always like this and he didn’t mind at that point, he was numb to those words.

And then, he saw a familiar flash of navy blue...


	2. Getting Back Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi gets to have Shuichi back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see any mistakes, please alert me.  
Feedback is appreciated.  
Suggestions are also appreciated.  
Like usual, I did not beta this but more importantly, I hope you can enjoy this story.

“Shumai?” Kokichi asked, eyes going wide as his head immediately tilted up. On reflex, he had called Shuichi by his nickname but he guessed at this point he wasn’t allowed to call him that, was he.

“Oh my god! It’s Saihara Shuichi! The hero who ended Danganronpa!” Some people yelled. Kokichi’s mouth opened, ready to scream at Shuichi to get his attention before it clicked and he shut up. He wasn’t supposed to be so close to Shuichi anymore.

“Hey, let me pass!” Kokichi yelled as he elbowed people out of his way, earning himself a few grunts. He had to get away from Shuichi as quickly as his legs could take him. He was the villain and Shuichi was the hero, he should’ve know that they wouldn’t go well together. How could he have ever expected things to end like this?

“Where do you think you’re going? Don’t you think it would be better if we brought the one who tried to end the killing game to the one who actually ended Danganronpa? How much do you think Shuichi will hate him? After all, Ouma Kokichi is hated by most for trying to kill everyone, aren’t you?” Someone grabbed him and prevented him from making his escape. 

He writhed and struggled, kicking and punching at anything he could reach which didn’t seem to do much. He had known for a long time that he was relatively weak and his attempts to get away were cut short when one of the people who had grabbed him slapped him across the face. He stilled and his body turned to jello, he didn’t want to relive everything he had from before he had been accepted into Danganronpa. Wasn’t that exactly why he had joined the killing game in the first place? So why was it still happening? 

“Shuichi! Can you sign my notebook?” Kokichi wondered why some people tended to drop honorifics when they were talking to the cast of Danganronpa. Was it because they practically weren’t human in their eyes anymore? 

“Say, what would you do if your worst enemy were to appear in front of you right now?” One of the people carrying him asked, the closer he got to Shuichi, the more the panic inside him grew. He started fighting back with renewed effort, a last desperate attempt to get away from Shuichi before the other noticed him.

“I don’t think I would do anything to them. I’m sure Tsumugi and Junko understand what they’ve done,” Shuichi’s smile was strained. Kokichi knew that as much as Shuichi didn’t want to be part of the game anymore, that he would remain a player without an ability to exit. Both of them were stuck, working under Junko, there was no escape from her.

“Then what about Kokichi?” Another asked. Kokichi supposed he must have been hidden from Shuichi’s field of vision and was grateful for that. He started making noises, hoping that someone else would be merciful enough to hear him but the only thing that happened was a hand landing on his mouth.

He licked at the hand covering his mouth and when that didn’t work, he bit the other’s hand. He heard a sharp scream and an angry outraged cry could be heard. The sound had destabilized the others’ concentration and Kokichi took the chance to escape, not expecting for Shuichi’s hand to outstretch and catch him by his arm.

“Ouma-kun?” he heard and that made him still. He supposed that gesture must have been done out of reflex because as soon as Kokichi turned around, Shuichi let go of him. Kokichi ran then, ready to cry as he did. He still loved Shuichi so much and he knew that his feelings were wrong. 

“Get away from me! Out of my way!” Kokichi screamed as he tried getting away. This wasn’t like him but at the moment, he couldn’t care any less. People got out of his way, some screaming at him and others just throwing insults but he didn’t mind it. What mattered to him was that he knew that Shuichi was following him and that was throwing him off of his tracks. 

“Ouma-kun! Stop! Kichi!” Shuichi finally yelled as he followed Kokichi wherever he was going. In his desperate attempt to get away, he had ended up at a dead end. As cheesy as it sounded, it was starting to make Kokichi panic even more.

“Shumai! Stop in your tracks!” Kokichi yelled out and let out a relieved sigh when the other actually obeyed him. The Ultimate Detective was always so nice to him and he had taken advantage of him one too many times, leaving them in this situation.

“Kokichi, I have a lot of explaining to do, will you please listen to me?” Shuichi asked, out of breath much like Kokichi himself. The purple-haired male could tell that Shuichi was serious and just hoped that the explanation wouldn’t hurt him any more than he already had been.

“Kokichi, I shouldn’t have left you like that. I- I was also hurt at the time but it doesn’t explain my behaviour and I know that. It’s just that you were so broken that I wished to take a break and then before I could explain myself correctly, I also broke down. I’m really sorry you had to go through that and when I realised my mistake, I tried coming after you but Junko wouldn’t let me visit you. She had others watching me so that I couldn’t come to our… I mean your place and she took away my old phone. I tried getting the others to tell you but apparently, Junko had blocked them using your phone so you couldn’t get anything. I’m sorry my explanation was so long but I was just wondering, would you possibly give me another chance?” Shuichi asked, eyes tearful as he looked at the smaller boy.

“What?” Kokichi asked and listened attentively as Shuichi explained it again, the wording was different but the message was the same. Shuichi’s face was full of concern and Kokichi knew that it wasn’t fake.

“Do you understand now?” Shuichi asked, his face full of hope. Kokichi thought about it and guessed that it did explain the reason why no one had helped him but at the same time he wondered, would Junko really do something so despairing to him? Well… she was the Ultimate Despair after all so why wouldn’t she.

“You… do you still love me?” Kokichi asked. He knew that it was a ridiculous thing to ask, it made him sound too desperate but he didn’t care. He really needed to know, he knew the answer too but he wanted to hear it with his own two ears.

“Kichi, I never stopped loving you and I’m so sorry for losing my cool with you. I shouldn’t have done that no matter how much it hurt me. I hope you will forgive me and give me another chance?” Shuichi asked.

Now, Kokichi wasn’t stupid nor was he one to fall for such stupidities under general circumstances but this was different. This was Saihara Shuichi, the one who had taken care of him every time he had fallen into despair. He was willing to do almost anything for him if only to show him how much Shuichi meant to him.

“I accept,” Kokichi replied and almost slapped himself. He had meant to say something like: I need some time to think about it or something else in those lines yet he hadn’t even tried to stop himself from pronouncing those hopeful words. He watched as Shuichi’s face lit up and gasped when he felt familiar arms wrap around him.

Shakily, he returned the hug, he hadn’t gotten any taller since the last time but as he was getting hugged, he figured he didn’t mind too much. As he enjoyed the warmth that the other boy provided him, he couldn’t help but snuggle into it. Shuichi had always been there for him and he had seen just how bad he had been doing without Shuichi’s help.

He knew that it wasn’t good to rely on the other so much and promised himself that he would try to do part of this job alone. He could do this if only to keep Shuichi close to him. He wouldn’t ever put so much pressure on the other ever again.

“I’m so sorry Shumai. I shouldn’t have done such a thing to you. I… I’m so very sorry, you mean the world to me yet the only thing I do is hurt you. Won’t you let me redeem myself?” Kokichi whispered against Shuichi’s chest.

“Kokichi, you don’t need to do such a thing but if you could… it would really help as much as I don’t want to admit it. I wish for us to talk more about our troubles from now on, we weren’t communicating enough and that’s what got us in the end. I… thank you so much,” Shuichi muffled his voice into Kokichi’s hair. Kokichi didn’t miss the way Shuichi’s voice trembled.

“Oh my god, why is Shuichi hugging that thing?” A girl asked, appearing out of nowhere. Her face held disgust as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. Kokichi stilled in Shuichi’s arms, going rigid at the sound of that girl’s voice.

“A thing? Are you calling Kokichi a thing? He’s not an object, you know?” Shuichi asked, squaring up as he stopped hugging Kokichi and looked at his fan with venom present in his voice.

“Everyone knows that if Kokichi hadn’t existed then you would never had to have gone through such a horrible chapter 5,” the girl rolled her eyes at Kokichi and grimaced at him as if just his being repulsed her beyond words.

“Don’t listen to them Saihara-chan, it’s okay. It’s always like this,” Kokichi had let it slip and immediately covered his mouth but it was too late. Shuichi had heard him and turned around to look at him with disbelief.

“And you let them?” Shuichi asked in surprise, turning to look at Kokichi and then at the girl in disbelief. The girl looked confused as to why Shuichi was giving her such an odd look. It was almost like she didn’t know what she had done wrong which in some ways exasperated Kokichi. In the end, he was just about as human as everyone else so why couldn’t they see that?

“I don’t want to but I got used to it in the end,” Kokichi sighed, looking away from Shuichi. He wouldn’t lie to him, not this quickly after they had made up. 

“You got what?” Shuichi asked and this time his voice rose. Just as he was about to get offended at the girl, more fans of his started appearing, each and every one of them cheering at Shuichi to take care fo the villain, also known as Ouma Kokichi.

“I’m not a villain,” Kokichi sighed and yelped when Shuichi dragged him off to who-knows-where. He was worried and let it show but immediately recognised where they were going once they left the school. They were going back home, to their home... Hopefully, he could call it theirs again.

“I know you aren’t and it’s about time I shower you with my love,” Shuichi mumbled as he dragged Kokichi. The shorter one smiled and allowed him to do so, unlocking the door for Shuichi.

“You better… you know, I really missed you,” Kokichi’s smile turned sad and he saw the way Shuichi’s eyes softened.

“I’m sorry but I promise to make it up to you,” Shuichi mumbled before tilting Kokichi’s head up and bending over a bit so that he could kiss him.

“Thank you and I promise that I’ll change from now on, so… are we dating again?” Kokichi asked, eyes glimmering with hope.

“Of course we are,” Shuichi smiled and as much as this made Kokichi’s heart go crazy, he knew that they hadn’t fixed anything yet.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any requests or prompts you'd like for me to write, you can message me on Instagram (isaac_t_foster) or Tumblr (isaacnotnewton3). You can also reach me if you have any questions you'd like to ask me. Thank you for reading.


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